Trip to Germany 2 – Immigration, Customs and Security

The Immy dude was cool, although having immigration before leaving country does not really make all that sense to me. You know with the whole why-are-you-getting-out-of-my-country line of thought. Anyways, there was some form that needed to be filled, and I had an interesting time with the guy explaining my travels over the years and convincing him that I had indeed decided to join my dad’s business and was coming back. Customs was also fine, except now they want you to ID your frigging checked-in baggage before you proceed. Whatever! Security went smooth, just too darn slow, but with two hours too kill before take off you wont see me complaining.


Trip to Germany 1- Beef with the Sri Lankan Airline Attendant

“We do it for all first time travel to Europe. Sir!!!” was the sound byte from the Sri Lankan Airlines attendant when I questioned their motives for taking copies of our passports. Never mind the crappy grammar, but this irks me to no end for two reasons. Firstly, Sri Lankan or any other Airline for that matter has no business questioning my motives as to why I’m visiting where ever it is that I’m visiting. You’re a fucking Airline- you sell tickets, you check tickets and you fly planes, and maybe you should stay that way. The purpose of my visit concerns only two parties other than my company and my business counterparts. Namely a department called Immigration in every country worth visiting and in my case a building called German Embassy and its their headache. Any quote of curiosity or necessity will make sense if you’d ask these questions when we were buying the tickets, but hey as Michael Moore says “Money buys a lot of love”, doesn’t it? Secondly, and I don’t want to sound like a broken record but, “We do it for all first time travel to Europe. Sir!!!” doesn’t qualify as reason. At least last time I checked they call it a sound-fucking-byte from a broken record. Immigration gets to ask questions, but even they don’t lay no greasy hands on my passport for copies.


The views expressed by the author is not a generalisation of Germany, the people living there, Sri Lankan Airlines, the people of Sri Lanka and definitely not on Chennai and the folks here. What follows is just a documentation of what he went through in the last 10 days of his life (from the date of publication). Personally the author(boy I love referring to myself in the third person narrative) claims to profess a love for the City of Chennai like no other and since the day Boris Becker boomed his way to his first wimbledon title has been an avid supporter and fan of anything German(much a lot of people’s disdain).

Most aspects of this narration will be offensive to most people who have sworn their love to any of the above mentioned “things”. Certain other facets will border on the disgusting and may even gross the reader out. In case of any such event, he advises you to take a break, get some fresh air and if, for whatever reason, is keen can continue reading. The author, blogger and the nerds at google take no responsibility whatsoever for any health risks and hazards caused to the reader, although he is definitely interested in hearing from them.

Ganguly messed with the wrong "Chap"pell.

As a rule, I avoid speculating on what went on behind close doors, but since I have been making exceptions to every rule in my rule book(I don’t really have a book) lately, I shall give my 2 cents worth on whats happening between Ganguly and Greg Chappell.

Before I move on, it is important that my sentiments are made clear lest they are thrown back at me in unfavorable light. I have never been a fan of Sourav Ganguly’s captaincy ever. I have always waited for our team to get an Aussie coach. Ironically, I don’t think Ganguly’s captaincy should have been cause for any debate before the Zimbabwe tour let alone during it. However, I feel it should have been made clear to Dravid that he was just an interim captain for the Sri Lankan tour and Ganguly should have been rested for the whole of that tour, else Ganguly should have been dropped like a hot potato once and for all ridding us of this unpleasantness. This business of naming Dravid the captain, getting Ganguly to play under him and then shifting the roles in the next series is neither healthy for the team nor for Dravid. I care two hoots for what is good for Ganguly. It makes no sense dropping a player as a captain but retaining him in the team (its been done a zillion times in India and Pakistan). All that follows is speculation on my part.

The Game
There are many objectives in this game for each of its players and they are all conflicting(else there won’t be any game to play now will there??). For the BCCI members, its about power and more money through power. This includes different designations and functions for each of them. For Mr. Ganguly, its about retaining his position in the team as Captain and batsman or whatever it is that he thinks he is doing for our team. For Chappell, its getting his way as a coach,all the credit along with a place in history if we succeed and of course a renewed contract etc…etc…etc…

The Players
There are a few factions in the BCCI. One comprises of Dalmiya and his stooge Mahendra Singh while another comprises of Sharad Pawar and his minions. There are other smaller ones with lesser clout including A.C Muttiah and Raj Singh Dungapur. Then of course, the two warring forces in that of Chappell and Ganguly.

The Moves
Ever since the Congress and a whole bunch of other parties took over the country, Pawar has been setting his sights at the post of BCCI president, and Dalmiya has stubbornly been trying to hold on to his domain. We cant’ really blame them The Indian board is the richest in the world and we all know where all the money gets flushed. Dalmiya for some strange reason backs Ganguly, something that gives him no political pull but actually has united the forces within to go against him. While the struggle for power at the BCCI goes on, a new one emerges in the field. Its new not in sense of new issues but new in the sense of how its being fought and the way things are looking its bad news for the Indian captain. Ganguly, acutely sure of who backs him, decided to pull a fast one on Chappell with his remarks in the press conference after the “Exhilirating Century” in the first test. Chappell, on the other hand refused to comment during the tour and has taken his case to the board with an articulate email.

My Take
Ganguly forgets he is dealing with a Chappell and Greg ain’t no John Wright. Greg Chappell is serious about his work and expects the same from the ones around him. While his record doesn’t seem all that good so far, Greg is here to make changes which actually means making life miserable for our pampered little brats who have been living in a life of luxury for quite sometime. Your not fit, well then your not in the team. You don’t have what it takes well then you don’t have a place in the team either. And if Bajju has a problem with that, he’s going to have a lot more to worry about. The good thing about John Wirght’s coaching was that he was the only guy who was coming up with plans that could work. Whatever Ganguly did on and off the field was all Wright and no Sourav. But Aussies are made of different stuff. Ian Chappell in one of his interviews with rediff iterates what he expects from an individual.

“I remember once telling Dennis Lillee” Ian recalls, “to tell me when he was tired so that he was not overused. He turned around and told me, ‘I will keep bowling till you ask me to stop. Like you need runs to be in form, I need to get wickets to be in form.’ That was the commitment of the players to their captain.”

Thats the difference between Great Players and Superstars, claims Ian and India, desperately needs a few of them. So what does Greg do when confronted with this kind of Machiavellian tactics, he pull a few of them under his sleeve. Chappell said that he was disappointed but not surprised that the leak had taken place. But the cynic in me seems to think otherwise.
Lets take a consensus. The press can’t stand Ganguly, the public(at least most of us) are waiting for him to step down and other than the two heads of the BCCI, no one else wants him around. The position of the team isn’t clear but no one really asks them before pulling the plug.

All leaks to the press have little to do with the truth coming out and more to do with gaining political capital. The Leaker, if you humour me, has something to gain by the leaking. From what it appears, the only person the gain from the leak is Chappell. So its not someone in the BCCI who has leaked this email but Chappell himself. What he has done now in effect is to make people choose sides. The public, the selectors and the BCCI now know where he stands and cannot pretend to be unaware. Only one man is going to remain standing, and you know what, its not going to be Ganguly.

And they say we dont listen to them!!!

My posts on women are anecdotes with the femme-fatales of my family. A few may be about my friends but will predominantly narrate my interactions I’ve had with the ones in my family. This particular incident transpired when I had just finished my 10th and was enjoying my holidays. As usual, I had taken my own sweet time to get out of bed and when I wandered into the living room, I found most of the household ready to depart to their respective destinations. My brother had a smirky grin on his face, something tells me he knew what was to come. So as I find myself oscillating between shame, hunger and lack of sleep(its never enough for me) I walk up to to the couch and land on it. My dad unaware of my escapade, any moments later the furnace is going to blast. As luck would have it, he was to drop my brother in school that day and that gave very little time for any tense situations with heightened emotions to take place. So I’m sitting there (having already brushed my teeth) waiting for my mom to come and pamper me with my morning cocoa (chocolate milk). She walks in from the kitchen and goes…


Mom: Ok vivek, what will you have. coffee or cocoa???
ME: uhh!!! cocoa… (think privately – yeah like that was some choice!!!)

I wait 15 minutes staring at the wall ignoring the sneering looks from my brother wondering what ever happened to that cocoa. My stomach growling at the top of its voice, gushing all the acid on its walls. Then she walks in again and goes


Mom: Ok vivek, what will you have. coffee or cocoa???
ME: uhh!!! cocoa…
(think privately – control yourself!! Its not her fault.. she has a lot on her mind)

Then half an hour passes and nothing happens. Oh yes, my brother leaves for school, laughing at my predicament, leaving me fuming. Then she walks in again and goes


Mom: Ok vivek, what will you have. coffee or cocoa???
Mom: Ok!! Ok!! I’l get it…

Two minutes later she walks in with my mug and


Mom: Ok vivek!! here’s your coffee…
Me:(helplessly) Ohh God!!!!
(privately to myself : WOMEN!!!)

My Dirty Seven

Ok First Post in this Blog!!!
Few may wonder why I would bother to set up another one, considering that I update my other two with a frequency that’s, well, not very frequent. My answer, the other two blogs aren’t personal – in the sense they are not about me literally – just things I find interesting. So when D-Pak decided to tag me, I said to my self “Screw it!!! One more wouldn’t hurt!!!”

The seven!!!!

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

  1. Develop a Video Game
  2. Write a novel
  3. Write or/and Direct a movie
  4. Mentor someone
  5. Coach a team at any level (cricket/soccer).
  6. Climb Mt. Everest, K2 or at least St. Thomas one
  7. Drive a ferrari on Mount Rd(death wish)

Seven things that I can do:

  1. Drive a car in Chennai without honking
  2. Listen patiently to people
  3. Stay calm and clear during a crisis
  4. Infect people (not that way silly- emotionally)
  5. Accept people for who they are
  6. Lead and motivate
  7. Work endlessly

Seven things I cant do

  1. Stop EATING
  2. Listen to bullshit orders
  3. Stop playing on/yelling at my computer
  4. Pay attention in a class
  5. Stop drinking coffee
  6. Be organized
  7. Get seven new people to take this quiz

Seven things that attracts me to the opposite sex:

  1. Sofistication
  2. Intelligence
  3. Competetiveness
  4. Mischievous
  5. Adventorous
  6. Prepared to rough it out
  7. Possessive

Seven things I say the most:

  1. Wow!!Thanks a lot genius!! (and not in a nice way)
  2. Idiots!! (at the Indian Team and lately the Aussies)
  3. So what have you been upto???
  4. No idea
  5. Avannaa??? Avan oru loosu.(or Krackuu)
  6. Where’s my coffee???
  7. Vaangaa Sar!! Vaanga!!! (only to friends)

Seven celebrities I want to meet:

  1. Mahatma Gandhi (Heaven ain’t far from Hell)
  2. Steve Waugh
  3. John Carmack
  4. Martin Scorsese
  5. Bill Clinton
  6. Maniratnam
  7. Josie Maran (yea baby!!!)